Mind Games

Last night was, I believe, my last chance to dance tango in Sacramento. I convinced Jain to go with me, and TH even sounded like she was in when we talked earlier in the day. Later she called and had hooked up with other people, so Jain and I were on our own. We had dinner, walked around, had a drink, and by the time we'd finished, it was 11pm. No problem because the tango people said that things don't really get hopping till around that time anyway. Well, We checked the scene out, and yes, it was beautiful...wide wooden pillars, beautiful wood floor, 14 foot ceilings, red velvet draperies...a punch bowl in the corner, and WOMEN. About 75% women, and not one identifiably single man. This was going to be rough.

As we sipped our drinks..J a beer, me a way too strong coffee and kahlua, I began to wonder about the situation. What were my chances of a good night of dancing? with so few guys to so many LOCAL women, and so few people overall, I know that there would be very reduced chance of me getting asked to dance. and then, all the sitting and waiting. the other women's eyes on me, the anxious desire to be dancing and not sitting...

Jain watched me stare zombie-like into my coffeecup. she knew something was up. are you ok?, she asked. Yes, fine. Just trying to decide what to do. I see, she said. You're tired.
too tired for the mind games.